- Online dating does not work. What'd you go on, like, Match.com? - Yeah. - That's the worst.
- Yeah, well, the problem is they match you up based on, like, shared background and common interests, you know, so you're like, oh, it's great, we have so many common interests, and it turns out, people don't really connect based on common interest.
- Exactly.
- And what does?
- Chemistry.
- Yep.
- Yeah, the problem, these sites all do the same thing. It's, like, superficial bullshit they match you up on, okay? And then it creates, like, an illusion of compatibility, right? Then you just rush into a relationship and then, duh! Turns out we don't like each other. Like, when the people finally meet each other, they hate each other.
- 'Cause opposites attract.
- Yes.
- 'Cause, like, how many couples do you know, right, and they're-- They're doing so great and one of them is like, "Well, I never thought I would be with somebody like this." Or, like, "I never thought I would date a Republican." Whatever.
- So what do I-- What do I do? Just find somebody with opposite interests?
- No, that doesn’t work either.
- Well, what do you do, then? I mean, how do you-- How do you find love?
- You know, you'll be in the store, maybe you're, like, checking the price of onions or something, and you just look up and there he is, and then your eyes meet and it just works, 'cause it's just how it works.
- Yeah, that's it.
- Okay, well, how am I supposed to make that happen?
- You can't. Not by looking for it. That's why they call it falling in love. You can't fall on purpose. See, I used to be an actor and I took a class in falling, trying to make it look like I fell. Well, I was still trying and I-- I must have fallen over about a thousand times trying to-- trying to make it look like it was an accident and I couldn't do it.So, um... I-- I quit being an actor.
- Well, that's not any help. I mean, what-- What is a person supposed to do?
- Well, you just accept.. Just accept the fact that love is rare and it probably won't happen to you, ever.
- Is that what-- Is that what you do? You just accept it?
- No. No, I-- I walk around brokenhearted. And I get-- I get drunk and-- I mean, I hate being alone. And... And someday it'll kill me.
